I’d rather play videogames than deal with reality.

In a videogame, one may fail, but can always try again. If one succeeds, the progress they’ve made is explicitly shown. The rules and boundaries of the world available for play are all defined and easily seen in-game or online. Even if a game is challenging, everything should still be set up for your success.

The real world isn’t so lenient: progress is often halting and inconsistent and different moral, political, legal, sociological, economic, as well as other variant ideas and laws clash all the time. Even if one makes progress, they might be unsure of how much it’s worth in the grand complex scheme of the world and all those different factors may put into question those achievement’s relevancy or adequacy. For example, I’m intermediate-advanced piano, that mark isn’t so impressive when put next to those of a kid ten years younger than me playing the same pieces.

I guess it’s like a drug or alcohol then.

I mean, that is why people abuse substances, right? To be distracted from a reality check?

Playing games stops my mind from wandering, if my mind doesn’t wander it doesn’t go through it’s regrets, all sorts of coulda beens, those suppressed wants and desires….

Instead I feel good enough, like I belong.

It’s a virtual prison of my own construction, built to last, but built to be comfortable at least.

The other day I went into town with someone I had never really talked to before but had noticed admiringly from afar. That first lunch, first experience we shared was so raw and open that I now feel in those two hours (which would have no doubt turned into three, four, five…double digits if not for life’s other plans) I came to know and understand her better than those I’ve been surrounded with for FOUR YEARS.

Now, is that because she’s extraordinary or due to the oddities and shortcomings of those in my grade?